4 Steps to Surrender; the day I stopped trying to fix it.

The day I stopped trying to fix it…

Alone listening to a podcast on my way to work that day – just me, Jesus, and a wandering mind mulling through events of the morning, processing things that didn’t happen, and those that did, but should have gone differently.

I’m a fixer – maybe, you are too?

Maybe it’s; frustration when your husband can’t find his shirt, the bills when money is tight, the pain when your little one falls, your home when it’s a mess, etc.…whatever it may be, as wives/mothers/women in general we fix them…physically, emotionally, mentally – it doesn’t matter, we-get-it-done.

My home (Your home), needs peace, love, joy, comfort – but on all days, I (we) cannot be these things on my (our) own. Somedays the house is a wreck, our schedule is bursting, the kids are crazy, the dog is barking, and we are at our wits end – We don’t know how to be peace, love, joy, and comfort in these moments, and we can’t fix it, but we do know the God of peace, love, joy, and comfort –  and that’s what hit me, as I caught myself in my usual fix it mentality that day. I cannot be the perfection in my home, but what I can do is ask the God of perfection into my home.


As women, we like to think we have everything under control. We exude this air of perfection to those around us. We want desperately to seem as though we’ve got it all together, because anything less than that tells the world we are not the woman we are supposed to be – or so…we think… We want to do our best, be our best, and when we don’t meet those standards we’re often left feeling defeated without ever considering that maybe, this thing we are attempting to fix is not ours to mend.

My original thoughts in my car that morning were not surrendered, and I wasn’t planning to do any waiting on the Lord to work me out, I was attempting to work things out myself, preoccupied with thoughts thinking, “Tomorrow I will do this – this way, and that – that way,” problem solving my way to perfection. Truth – Jesus never asks us to fix ourselves, and he never asks us for perfection. Actually, what he wants is completely opposite. He longs to be our, “fixer.” Psalm 37:7 says, “Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act…” What he wants from us, is our surrender.

Isaiah 64:8, “And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.” Our making is not a one and done sort of thing. God’s consistent desire is to mold us into the person he purposed us to be, and fulfill the plan for our lives – yet to do that we have to come to a place where we are willing to be the clay on the potters wheel and allow him control to form us in his way, and that requires – Surrender.

4 Steps to Surrender

  1. Admit our imperfection by standing transparently before God. Confess our failure to him. We cannot do it all, but we serve a God who does.
  2. Acknowledge that God is the God of control. When we attempt to control things, we are trying to do his job. His plan is better than ours. Trust him to do what he has said he will do.
  3. Ask the God of control to rule over your day. Ask him, the God of peace, understanding, patience, and love to dwell in your home, in your car, at your work. There’s something about asking God to be who he already is, that radically changes the atmosphere.
  4. Allow him to work. Exodus 14:14, “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” This is one of the most difficult verses to live. It’s the time where we practice the act of surrender by stepping back, taking a deep breath (or 10) and letting God be God.

The day I gave up image 2

These four steps coupled with prayer, and studying the word of God melts the stress away as our mind is opened and our understanding increased. In his word we find it filled with imperfect people used greatly. Don’t believe me?

Rahab was a prostitute,

Leah was NOT pretty,

Moses was a murderer,

David was an adulterer,

Jacob was a liar.

We read of their shortcomings, and not just that, but God’s patience and long suffering until each chose the act of surrender to carry out what the Lord desired.

Psalm 139:16

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

We see the here and the now, the mess and the stress, and we forget, don’t understand, or choose not to accept that God saw every moment of our lives before even one passed. He knows our weakness, and he says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. And this is a message we hear over and over in his word as God reaches to his people in whatever struggle they may be.


I need God’s word every day – We need his word every day. Consuming it daily allows us to take up our armor and fight when the enemy of our soul attempts to stop us from accepting that Jesus was sent to be the perfection we will never be, and the perfection that is required of us all. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For God made Christ, who never sinned to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.”

I find in myself; my first thought is nearly always – “do it yourself. Clean yourself up, get yourself right” – but in my car that day – God allowed me to see – I can’t do this on my own. And that was the day I gave up. I gave up fixing myself to being the perfect wife/mother/woman and surrendered, asking God to reign where I keep failing. I wish I could tell you everything has been fine since that day – but it hasn’t, my flesh is thick and this act of surrender is a conscious decision that I need Jesus to help make every day… It’s a decision I’m committed to no matter how many times my carnality gets the best of me.

I wonder today, would you join me in making this decision? Let’s go together to the Throne of Grace, and choose this good part. Let’s choose this part that won’t be taken from us. Let’s allow the Lord to be what we were never meant to be by being who he has always been (and will always be). Let’s make our move today and surrender every imperfection, by allowing His Spirit to reign, so that He can do the things we ourselves were never meant to, let’s go together today – Choose Him.


Lord Jesus,

Your perfection is amazing. Your ability is limitless. The fact that you know my imperfection, and still want me is astounding. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for never giving up on me just like you never gave up on Rahab, David, and Jacob. Thank you for using their lives as an example to encourage, and remind me that you can still use me. Thank you for being the perfection I’ll never be. Please forgive me for trying to control things I was never meant to control. Please forgive me for trying to fix myself instead of asking you to be my fixer. Please help me to surrender, and allow you to shape me in your hand. You are the potter, and I am the clay. Take control of the pieces of me that I cannot. Smooth out my rough edges and make me the creation you purposed me to be. I trust you, I trust your ability. I trust you with these things. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Thank you for being available, and thank you for helping me to allow you to do the work you need to do in me to make me the wife/mother/woman you have purposed me to be.

In Jesus Name, I pray.


Looking for more help with Surrender? Check out:

4 Steps to Surrender: Step 1 Admitting

4 Steps to Surrender: Step 2 Acknowledge

4 Steps to Surrender: Step 3 Ask

4 Steps to Surrender: Step 4 Allow

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